A Hair Short of Passing Inspection!
   by Michael P. Walden, RM2(SS)

I was a Radioman stationed onboard the USS Lewis and Clark (SSBN 644 Blue) from 1975 to 1979. Every Saturday on alert was Field Day - if you weren't on watch you were cleaning somewhere. One Field Day early in my career, I pulled duty in the Crew Berthing Head. Three or four of us cleaned that baby good so we could climb back in the bunk and get some sleep before our watch. Our corpsman at the time, Big Doc, came through for inspection:

BD: "Well, Waldo, do you think you'll pass this inspection."
Me: "I'm fairly confident." 

The place was spotless. I watched Big Doc as he poked around and knew I had him. He couldn't find anything wrong! The next thing he did still cracks me up to this day. He walked into one of the stalls...and with me watching him...took out a mechanical pencil. He carefully laid it flat on the toilet seat and started turning the end - slowly...out came a pubic hair onto the seat!

BD: "Waldo, what the hell is that?!"

Big Doc and his entourage got a good laugh as they walked out of the head. "How 'bout let's clean that up."

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