Submariners Don't Wear Underwear
David E. Dinwiddie MM3(SS), USS Sam Houston SSN-609, Circa 1987
I was standing topside watch one evening in Pearl Harbor. Since we were in upkeep, or whatever the acronym was, I was wearing my grungy A-Ganger dungarees. Had the shotgun slung over my shoulder and strolled over to the sail to take fwd draft readings.

I felt a pressure like I needed to break wind. I cocked my leg up a pushed. It wasn't wind, it was a lump, and it was too far out to suck it back in. So I pushed a little harder and the lump came out.

I shook my pants leg and the lump landed on the deck. I kicked it into Pearl Harbor and finished my rounds.

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