Morrison Mountain
  by
Tom McCabe ETC(SS)
This story occurred during one of the early patrols of the TR somewhere in that great expanses of the Northern Oceans. We had been operating in our OP Area for a couple of weeks. 

As a Nuc when the C.O. called for Dead Slow, it was really dead. Things had been going from boring to really boring, and when we got a back one-third on the engine order telegraph, we all perked up. This was the first bell since shifting pumps to slow upon diving. 

The EOOW called forward to find out what was up. He found out that we had came across a Sea Mountain that had hither to been unknown. The First Class Quarter Master, Morrison asked for and received permission to plot the Mountain. 

So at All Ahead Dead Slow, we tracked back and forth over the mountain until a clear picture was formed. The QM was truly proud of his mountain, and wrote "Morrison Mountain" along side the newly plotted mountain. As he was putting the finishing touches on his prize the C.O. ambled aft from his stateroom. Morrison his pride of accomplishment beaming from his face asked the C.O. to view his mountain. The C.O. lighted his Cuban cigar and leaned over the chart table, and commenced to praise Morrison for his fine work. 

As he appeared to admire the professional job performed by Morrison, he switched the cigar from on side of his mouth to the other side and asked for the eraser. Then the C.O. remarked "That's a beautiful job Morrison. There's only one thing wrong." and with that he erased Morrison's name and put "Simms" in its place. 

Morrison, shocked by the C.O.'s action responded by retorting, "What the fuck Captain?" The C.O. without missing a beat and without raising his voice said, "If you say that word one more time Morrison I will make you a Second Class."

Morrison not really cognizant of what was happening, responded with, "What the fuck did I say Captain?" 

The Captain said, "Want to try for Third?" Fully aware of his predicament and without thinking Morrison opened his mouth one last time and without any thought said, "Fuck Captain." 

True to his threat the C.O. reduced Morrison to Third Class Quartermaster for the remainder of the patrol with loss of wages. At the end of the patrol he was re-instated as First Class.

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