"I Need a Water Slug!"
   by SK3(SS) McMillan USS George C. Marshall (SSBN-654)(Gold) 1986

I was working late one evening in the Supply Shack when a young seaman poked his head in the door. I recognized him as one of the new kids who was qualifying Helmsman/Planes. "I need a Water Slug!"

Being quite busy I simply handed him a 1250-1 requisition form and said, "Fill this out completely and take it to the Torpedo Men."

The kid walked off and I grinned to myself, figuring the kid would get some training diving the tube and would know exactly what a water slug was.

I was somewhat surprised when 15 minutes later the kid was back at my door presenting me a completed 1250-1. I decided to give him a tour of the other end of the boat, "Go to Maneuvering and get the serial number for the next water slug."

10 minutes later the kid was at my door again. The chit had been annotated and initialed by various people around the boat with a serial number written across the bottom.

"This chit hasn't been signed by the XO! Before you see him however, check with the QMOW and find out when the last water slug was shot!"

This was a little cruel as the XO was a singularly humorless man; most of the crew considered him something of an idiot. This is why I sent him to control first, to give the initiators the option to abort.

15 minutes later the guy was at my door again, the chit was covered in blue ink - it had gone to the XO. It read something like this:

The water slug, the result of the combination of two hydrogen and one oxygen molecules in copious quantities being expulsed by the transference of Hydro Pneumatic and Mechanical energies from the ship.

I was surprised to see the XO play along, and more surprised the kid hadn’t caught on yet. I sent him back to control to get the key for the water slug locker from the OOD. As the kid rounded the corner I followed to the control room, just before I walked in the whole room burst out laughing.

The kid wasn’t that bright, but he did do everything he was told – A few days later he was at my door again, “Do you have any relative bearing grease?…..

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