As all submarine sailors know full, just about the first thing you do when leaving any port is a trim dive. Well the connection between cheap booze and trim dive becomes very apparent. I was standing watch in the control room and handling the hammer valves for blowing the tanks. 

We started our trim dive when all at once we took a sharp down angle. Now some say it was 70 degrees and I won't swear it was but it was steep enough to throw me forward to the bulkhead of the forward battery/state room. The OD was yelling "Blow bow buoyancy", and "Blow the Tanks" while I was literally climbing up the IC switchboard towards the manifold. 

They were doing all back full and all that stuff and I was struggling to reach the valves to get us back to the surface. Adrenalin is a wonderful thing sometimes as it allowed me to whip open the hammer valve to blow the bow tank with my right hand alone. 

As the bow of the boat started to swing up I managed to get to my feet and within seconds I had all the tank valves open. I'm thinking we broke water like the opening scene of the TV show "Navy Log" (not even on reruns any more). 

Well the Captain issued orders to report where all the "booze" was stored and as you can well imagine most every void space and orifice in the forward torpedo room was stuffed to the max. After the appropriate trim compensation was made we managed a very smooth and successful trim dive. 

The Captain was pretty cool about it all and I don't recall anyone loosing stripes or booze over the issue. I do believe a few of us lost some hair over it though. 

Oh yeah, this ain't no shit!